God Can Transform Your Grief
How God guides us through the five stages of grief
We all experience loss in our lives, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the loss of a project we’ve poured our hearts into, or a setback in our studies or careers. Loss is something we all face, and with it comes grief. Grief is the emotional response to loss, and it often unfolds in stages known as the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This model was first introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969 and has helped many people understand how they process grief.
However, for Christians, these stages don’t have to be the whole story. While they can give us a framework to understand our emotions, we believe that God’s presence can transform our experience of grief. We don’t have to go through it alone or be overwhelmed by our pain. Instead, with God’s help, these stages of grief can become opportunities for healing, comfort, and hope.
In this article, we’ll explore how God can guide us through each of these five stages of grief, using Scripture to show how His love and presence can bring peace, even in the darkest times.
Stage 1: Denial
God’s Truth Shatters the Illusion
Denial is often the first reaction to loss. In this stage, we may refuse to accept reality, feeling numb or unable to comprehend the depth of our pain. Denial is our mind’s way of protecting itself from the initial shock of loss. However, God’s truth can gently guide us out of denial, helping us to confront reality with courage and faith.
The Scriptures says in Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” God does not force us to face reality alone. He draws near to the brokenhearted, offering His presence and peace. His truth, revealed in Scripture, helps us acknowledge our pain without fear, knowing that He will carry us through even the most difficult moments. By grounding ourselves in God’s Word, we can move from denial to acceptance of His presence, even in the midst of loss.
Stage 2: Anger
God’s Patience and Justice
After denial, many experience anger—anger at the situation, at themselves, or even at God. In our grief, we may ask, “Why did this happen?” or “How could God allow this?” The Bible reminds us that anger is a natural human emotion, but it also teaches us how to handle our anger without letting it consume us.
In Ephesians 4:26-27 Paul writes, “In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” God is patient with our emotions, including anger, but He warns us not to let anger lead us into sin. The Bible encourages us to express our feelings to God openly, as seen in the Psalms. King David often vented his frustration and sorrow to God (Psalm 13), but in the end, he turned back to trust in God’s justice and sovereignty. God’s Word directs us to deal with our anger in a way that leads us back to His peace.
Stage 3: Bargaining
Trust in God’s Plan
Bargaining is a stage where we attempt to regain control by making deals with God. We may pray for a different outcome or ask for things to go back to the way they were. While bargaining reflects our deep desire to reverse our loss, the Bible reminds us that God’s will is perfect, and we must learn to trust His plan.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Instead of bargaining with God, we are called to surrender to His will and trust His wisdom. God’s understanding surpasses ours, and He works all things for our good (Romans 8:28), even in circumstances that seem unbearable. By submitting to God’s plan, we can find peace, knowing that He is in control, even when we are not.
Stage 4: Depression
God’s Comfort and Hope
Depression is often the most challenging stage of grief, marked by feelings of deep sadness, hopelessness, and isolation. In this stage, the weight of our loss feels overwhelming. However, God’s Word offers profound comfort, reminding us that even in our darkest moments, we are never alone.
God is the ultimate healer of broken hearts.
The psalmist says in Psalms 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” God is the ultimate healer of broken hearts. While depression in grief is a natural response, the Bible reassures us that God is near, and He provides hope even amid sorrow. The book of Lamentations, written in a time of deep despair, still speaks of hope: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning” (Lamentations 3:22-23). God’s mercies renew us each day, providing the strength we need to continue, one step at a time.
Stage 5: Acceptance
Finding Peace in God’s Promise
The final stage of grief is acceptance. This stage is not about forgetting or moving on, but rather about making peace with the reality of loss. Acceptance in a biblical sense is recognizing that, through God, there is hope and healing. Even in loss, we find peace in God’s promise of eternal life and His ongoing presence with us.
The apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” The Bible promises a peace that surpasses human understanding. This peace comes from knowing that, even though grief and loss are painful, God’s love and His eternal promises remain. Acceptance through God’s lens is about finding hope in His plan for the future. For Christians, death and loss are not the end. Revelation 21:4 provides the ultimate promise of comfort: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Grieving is a deeply personal process, but as Christians, we do not grieve without hope. At every stage of grief, whether denial, anger, bargaining, depression, or acceptance, God is with us, offering His comfort, strength, and hope. His Word reassures us that grief, though painful, can lead to deeper trust in Him and a renewed understanding of His purpose in our lives. Through faith, we are able to move beyond mere survival in grief, allowing God to transform our mourning into joy and our pain into peace.
May the Lord Almighty transform all our grief.
Blessings brothers. Look at Isaiah 53. It states Jesus carried grief and sorrow. He carried grief on the cross so you and I don't have to. Very different than what you talked about in your article. 🙏